Why Britain Sucks at Learning Languages

Google 'British teenagers' as I just did, and you may find that they 'lead the world in their sexual activity' and that the girls are the 'biggest binge drinkers in Europe'. As a Brit, I wouldn't dispute any of that. But a recent survey has actually made me embarrassed for my country of birth: one that found that English teenagers are the worst in Europe at learning languages. 

We all knew it was bad, but seeing the evidence plastered across the Internet is like being tagged in a photo doing that stupid drunk thing you did that you hoped no one had seen. We as a nation have two choices: laugh it off and keep being stupid, or let this public shaming motivate us to be less moronic.

Languages aren't for everyone. I routinely embarrass myself trying to do simple arithmetic (mostly because I forget what I was doing and just multiply whatever numbers I have in my head) so I am a firm believer in the different types of intelligence. But the statistics show us doing much worse than we should be genetically predisposed to do. England has been invaded and influenced by so many invaders and their languages. Plus we can't all be scientists - and we're not - so why do we suck so much?

I have studied languages at school, college and university in England so I feel like I have a good insight into why standards are slipping and were low to begin with.

Outdated Imperialist Attitudes
Once, we had a British Empire. Countries were colonised, nations exploited, resources plundered. At the time Britain was feeling pretty puffed up about its empire being so pimpin', but now no one cares. And if they do, it's because they want its atrocities never to happen again. One of the vestiges of colonisation is the languages left by the invaders: English spoken in most of the red highlighted countries above, Spanish all over Latin America, French in parts of Africa and the Caribbean etc. 

In one way, it's incredibly useful that people from distant parts of the world have a higher chance of communication. However, British teenagers, in their bid to find something, anything, to counter their crippling lack of self-esteem, can forget that the reason most of the world speaks English now is because of the US, and brag about how they live in GREAT Britain. Or there's the whole 'we created America so we made them the country they are today' argument, otherwise known as 'Catholic parents who threw their Protestant kid out on the street want a cut of his present-day fortune'. But hey, anything to distract from acne.

The problem comes when they hear that they don't need to learn other languages because the rest of the world is learning English for them. This is especially destructive from parents, older siblings, anyone in a position of influence, and it's not even true! The image that kids hold of tanned restaurant and hotel owners, fluent in English, waiting for tourists outside their white-washed establishments might be true in Ibiza. Hell, most of the employees are English nationals. But for people who travel off the package-holiday path and towards, say, Paris, wildly pointing and shouting 'DO YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?' is not enough to elicit more than laughter or a blank stare. 

You at least want to be able to understand people as they mock you in their native tongue. Additionally, what kind of person takes pride in knowing less words than their peers? 

Teenagers hate trying
This should be big news, to no one. Languages don't come naturally to everyone, and even for the ones to whom they do, there are many complications, exceptions and inexplicable rules along the way. See this post about Russian language for reference. It can be incredibly frustrating, but incredibly rewarding when you crack the alien logic and hear yourself talking in strange tongues. 

Unfortunately for slackers, languages are an acquired skill. You can't doze through all your lessons, pull an all-nighter before your GCSE oral exam and expect to get an A because you need to slowly learn more grammar and more vocabulary and drill them into your head with practice. This doesn't have to be difficult; it's as simple as doing your homework and even reading the odd foreign article, listening to music or watching a film in the language you're learning. All fun and interesting activities, all types of passive learning. See, you don't even have to look like you're trying. I personally used to do grammar exercises to de-stress, but that's a level of geekdom you don't have to stretch to. There's no turning back after that, kids, before you know it you'll be living abroad, up to your elbows in Chekhov and Neruda in the original language and everyone will know you might be passionate about something. 

Dun dun dunnn

The English educational systemMost other European countries start teaching children languages as early as possible. Although this doesn't make everyone fluent, countries that value the importance of knowing foreign languages see a real result from this method, which makes sense as a person's receptiveness to a foreign language only decreases the older they get. In my primary school, we learnt a bit of French in Year 6 (ages 10-11), by which point most of the kids had mentally checked out and were busy proving how little they cared about school. 

Another bad aspect is the frequency with which students are examined. During the year they are hurried through curriculums, leaving little room for creativity, personal curiosity or the different levels of the group, as they are taught what they need to know to pass exams rather than to navigate a new country or inspire them with a fascinatingly different culture. I always liked languages but I thought I wanted to study English Literature until my French exchange in Year 10 where I realised all the opportunities of travel, new friendships and further interpreting that could be possible for me if I were to study languages. I even changed my mind about studying French and Spanish in my AS level year, applying for ab initio Russian; a decision that terrified and thrilled me. It's doubtful I'd have had the guts to do that without the support of my mother as well as passionate teachers who exhausted themselves trying to help everyone get the best possible experience, let alone final mark. Unfortunately, teachers are currently so overworked and underpaid, that this kind of determination is scarce and unsustainable and today's students lack the direction needed to convince them of the benefits of studying foreign languages. With the Arts budget cut by 80% and cutbacks being made to jobs and further funding in the public sector, this doesn't look set to change soon.

For any unconvinced teenagers who might stumble upon this, here are a few reasons to study a foreign language:

• It's exotic: like the idea of telling people you speak the language of love?  Or travelled through remote parts of South America, speaking to the natives? Or that you speak Mandarin? You're a genius, who wouldn't want to go out with you.
• Travel opportunities: Since the start of university, I've spent a month in Kazan', a weekend in Moscow, four months in St Petersburg, and I will have completed five months in Valencia along with trips to other parts of Spain, all purely for the good of my degree. What English lit students can say that? Speaking of which...
• Variety of degree matter: my friends are often surprised at what we get to study as part of a language degree, but language is really just a different lens for the world (pretentious, but true). I've taken classes in Spanish and Russian cinema, Russian poetry, Russian short stories, the essays written after various Latin American countries became independent and the ensuing social development, legal translation, philosophy, short stories from France, Germany, Italy, China...not including the many I could have taken in history, etc. Obviously the sciences (bar philosophy, in Spain) are excluded from this wide scope but language students are lucky enough to get a taste of many different degrees, while increasing our language skills.
• Language skills: this is the obvious one. The ability to speak a foreign language makes you much more employable and who doesn't want a job? I picked my languages not only because I had an overwhelming urge to learn them and immerse myself in the cultures linked to them, but because I covered a lot of global area by speaking them and they will make it easier to learn even more languages. French is the official language of the UN and has been incredibly helpful to me both with learning Russian and communicating with international students here in Valencia. Coupled with Spanish (I'm coming for you, Latin America!), I can already understand a lot of Portuguese and that is the next language I have my eye on. Russian helps me understand some of other Slavic languages, like Czech and Polish, and I'm currently using it to speak to my two Russian flatmates that I got completely by chance. The lunch-hour studying I did of Arabic and Mandarin for a year was not enough for me to remember more than a few words, but I'd love to return to them once I have a couple more languages under my belt. If like me, you love people, you'd be crazy to pass up the chance to chat knowleageably about different customs, dress, drinking traditions, weddings, funerals, work ethics...fascinating stuff that you can also pull out your sleeve if you have a foreign client at that job you have. Plus, it teaches you to really fine-tune your communication, verbal and non-verbal, so you can blitz presentations, reports, business lunches and not end up a sweaty, blabbering mess.

• You can get published by a national student website.
• You can live somewhere far away, like Santiago de Chile, or Tokyo!
• Foreign liaisons: the economy is changing the way business functions. A third of US citizens speak Spanish. No longer is English the only language used to communicate internationally. Currently more people are learning German, Spanish, Russian, Norwegian even, so that they can move to find jobs. Even working in your own country, you could be an incredibly valuable asset if you can speak to clients in their own language, or for translating and interpreting purposes.
• You become a much more well-rounded person. Conversations are never-ending if you can talk about films from Bollywood, Soviet Russia or Korea, literature from Nigeria, pre-revolutionary France or Franco's Spain. You hone your social skills and learn a lot of patience, with yourself and other people. Also, you'll be amazed how generous people can be. If you need your optimism renewed, take a trip somewhere. 
• Life experience: even if you don't study a language, it's worth investigating if you can study your subject abroad for a semester. Living abroad forces you to be brave; you have to assert yourself, protect yourself and organise yourself in a foreign city, in a tongue that is not your own. Small things that might scare you in your home city like complaining about a meal or making a presentation at work will seem like a breeze after months of trying to communicate with people who may not understand a word you're saying, or coming to a new city with no friends and building a routine from scratch. It teaches you to seek out ways to squeeze the fun out of the city, to work hard at something you love to see the results you want and to appreciate what you have at the moment. You come into contact with a wealth of different cultures, from the natives and other international students; you can't get that kind of perspective without leaving your home turf. Although at times, it can be difficult, you really learn the value of having a good support system at home and away, and the break from your normal studies pushes you to work harder and travel more in the future.

Here are some to get started with.